The Weaker Sex?
Take a close look
Take a really close look at the picture to the left. This is a combine reel in the early 1930′s. And that’s not wheat wound around the reel. That’s my grandfather’s clothes.
Granddad Ragan had done what every farmer, ever mechanic knows NOT to do. He reached in to clear something out that was clogging the machine while the machine was still running. And sure enough, it caught hold of his clothes and started pulling them off. Along with the clothes, it was starting to pull the man into the machine. His 4-year-old son (my dad) was able to climb into the combine and turn it off just as it was starting to chew on Granddad’s arm.
So what does this have to do with the “weaker sex”? Let me tell you. My grandmother had to take her wounded husband and put him on a train to Seward, Nebraska, across the state so that his dad, Dr. Seth Ragan, could put him back together. As she watched the train take her husband away, she was left with 4 children, the oldest of whom was 4 years old. She was also left with an incomplete harvest. And this was the early 30′s in farm country in the Midwest. And it was July! Hot and windy and often miserable, watching the skies for hail storms to wipe out your entire year’s income.
Just take a minute to think about what needed to be done. Knowing what farm people are like to this day, I assume that there were neighbors who helped complete that harvest. I’m sure that there were women to help with the children. But there was nobody who could really shoulder the responsibility of the farm and the children while she was there “alone”. And there was nobody who could really feel that pain of knowing what had happened to her husband or the fear of wondering how he would be when he came home.
Bear in mind, I didn’t hear this story from my grandmother, Lucile Blanche Adams Ragan. I heard it from my mother when we were foraging through pictures for the book that I’m writing about her and Dad. But Grandma didn’t tell me this or other horror stories that she would have survived as a farmer’s wife in southwest Nebraska. I never heard her tell any “woe was me” stories. Like thousands of other young wives and mothers living on farms in the Midwest in the 1930′s, she just did what needed to be done. And she did it well. And she did it with pride. And she did it with love.
That was my Grandma Ragan.
Yeah! We have a dress!
September 2011 bride
Well, we don’t actually HAVE the dress. But it is ordered. We went back to the bridal shop this morning. She put the dress on again (just to make sure!) and we fell in love with it all over again. She looked so pretty and radiant in her dress. So measurements were taken, order completed (she now has an “event folder” at the shop), debit card presented.
Then we went shopping for me at Coldwater Creek. Not for my dress for the wedding (you know, the OTHER important dress of the day) but just for fun clothes. Amy is trying to stretch my comfort zone. She can tell you that I don’t stretch very far, but bless her heart, she keeps trying. I’m pretty sure that I tried on as many pieces of clothing as she did yesterday. In fact, one time when I was trying to get out of yet another change, she ribbed me about my thinking it was fun when she was trying on dresses yesterday. Please! You can’t compare trying to update Mom’s style to the bride selecting HER wedding dress.
Daughters can be so silly.
Shopping for the Wedding Dress
This has been a fantastic day. Amy and I started with a manicure and pedicure this morning. Then we met her friend Sarae at a wedding dress “shop”. The young gal helping us (and I do mean young) was very sweet. But thank goodness Sarae was with us because she and Amy have shopped enough together that she knew Amy’s style and what would and wouldn’t work for her. So Courtney got Amy started with a couple of dresses and Sarae and I started combing the racks and racks of beautiful gowns.
There were some that were easy to discard once Amy put them on. There were some that were “hmmm, maybe.” There was one that Amy immediately said, “It’s a pretty dress and I’m sure that it’s someone’s wedding dress, just not mine.” There were some that were very pretty but too formal for the woodsy setting where the wedding will be. And then there was one that made Sarae and I go, “Wow!” And Amy took in a deep breath and smiled and said, “Oh!” And I could see in her eyes that she realized that this one was special. I was very surprised because it wasn’t one that I really thought would be her pick, but when it was on her, I could immediately envision her walking through the trees to meet Nate in front of their family and friends. And I was already thinking, “Hmmm, how are we going to keep that train clean from her walk down the ‘aisle’?” And I could see her dancing that first special dance with Nate as husband and wife. And I could see her having a fun evening with all their guests.
She did try on a couple more. And we even went to another store. All they did was convince her that she had probably already found “her” wedding dress. But there were a couple of questions that she had, so we went back to the first store. Amy put the dress back on. The very young Courtney was able to show her a couple of things that would work to answer her questions. She took off the dress and hung it back up and asked what their hours are tomorrow. After she sleeps on it, I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t select that dress. She could change her mind, but it would have to be a very special dress to be more “Amy’s dress”.
I’m not going to let out any secrets about the dress. The shop wouldn’t let us take pictures, which has already disappointed her Aunt Linda. But that’s OK. One of the thrills of the wedding is seeing the bride in her dress for the very first time. Of course, anymore, many of the pictures are taken before the ceremony so it’s not quite the surprise for the groom as it use to be when he first laid eyes on his bride walking down the aisle.
But rest assured, Amy will still be a beauty in the dress that she has chosen to be joined with Nate in marriage. And there will still be many “ooohs” and “aaahs” as she comes down the aisle, even if that aisle is through the trees. And her Dad will be proudly walking her down that aisle. And her Mother will tear up to see her baby girl taking those steps.
